I know, I know.
Sometimes it’s hard to motivate yourself to practice Karate.
We’ve all been there: Family, work, duties, errands, chores, homework… it never stops. Juggling personal responsibilities with Karate can be a pain in the butt for many.
Sometimes, you even run out of bad excuses!
I’m here to help you with that today.
[Warning: Sarcasm ahead.]
Right here, I’ve put together a list of 49 reasons to why you definitely don’t want to go to the dojo today. Reasons that, when used convincingly, can help you stay home from the dojo to catch up on those “important” things you’ve been planning on doing any day now.
It’s all about priorities, right?
After all, you only practice 2-3 times a week. Might as well skip today.
Here’s 49 reasons to skip Karate class like a pro.
1. Your dog ate your belt.
2. You went last week. You don’t wanna overtrain.
3. You’re waiting for your dojo mate. You usually go to practice together. He hasn’t been returning your calls though – since 2009.
4. You actually do plan on training today. Right after you finish your next beer.
5. You like the general concept of sucking at Karate.
6. Your gi doesn’t fit perfectly. It never has. And never will. But you’re thinking of getting that new Seishin gi!
7. You’re tired of explaining your gigantic bruises to co-workers.
8. You think the founder of Shotokan Karate, grandmaster Funakoshi Gichin, was clearly crazy when he wrote: “Karate is like boiling water; without constant heat, it eventually returns to its tepid state.”
9. You don’t need kata and kumite – you recently purchased Smith & Wesson.
10. Karate doesn’t work on the street anyway. Some dude on a forum told you that. Everyone on the internet is always right.
11. You have nothing to prove. A belt is just there to keep your pants up.
12. The dojo is too crowded. You can’t train properly.
13. The dojo is too empty. You can’t train properly.
14. You’re going to try a McDojo™ instead. They got a 90 Days Fast Track Black Belt Program.
15. They’re showing The Karate Kid on TV – for the third time this month. But as your sensei always says, repetition is the mother of perfection. So this counts as training, right?
16. Chicks don’t like Karate guys anyway. They want MMA fighters.
17. There’s no wi-fi at the dojo.
18. Endorphins, which are released by the body when we exercise, are addictive – and you don’t wanna get hooked. Stay home. You’d rather be safe than sorry.
19. Only insecure people need Karate practice, to overcompensate for their inadequate bench pressing ability.
20. Mom loves you just the way you are. No need to improve.
21. Exercise is bad for your joints. Especially those deep stances and high kicks.
22. You’re a woman and don’t wanna challenge the macho culture of the martial arts. Might as well stay home and cook or clean.
23. Your sensei never shows you deadly points anymore. (To this day, you still swear his cat died of natural causes.)
24. You’re out of bananas. Everybody knows you can’t train without bananas.
25. It’s sparring class tonight, and you’re out of excuses to why you don’t want to fight (because “I’m afraid of getting hurt” always makes you sound like a wuss). Better stay home and think of something clever ’til next week.
26. You like to be weak and bullied. By kids. And cripples. And your little sister.
27. Your back hurts. Or your knee hurts. Or your big toe hurts. Or your butt itches. Or you got some other boo-boo that you don’t wanna make worse by going to the dojo.
28. You saw a study on the news yesterday, saying that martial arts makes people violent. You like peace.
29. You don’t have the time. (But strangely enough, you got plenty of time to read Jesse’s Free 7-Day Karate Nerd™ E-mail Guide.)
30. You’re waiting for New Years… 2018.
31. There’s a Twilight marathon on today. (Back-to-back Twilight, b*tches!)
32. You already did some Karate today. You dodged a bird trying to crap on your head.
33. You’re too old.
34. Too young.
35. Too fat.
36. Too slim.
37. Too [insert random physical attribute here].
38. But… it’s Saturday!
39. It’s Sunday. The Lord said not to workout on Sundays.
40. It’s Monday. Everybody knows you can’t be productive on a Monday.
41. It’s Tuesday-Friday. You got TONS of work to catch up on.
42. You’re going to the gym. Who needs Karate when you can squat, bro? Plus, there’s fitness chicks in yoga pants there.
43. You’re waiting to get your life together. (Hint: You never will. Might as well go to the dojo.)
44. You’re waiting to get motivated. (Hint #2: You’ll be waiting forever.)
46. You’re out of protein powder. Gotta get that post-workout fuel, bro!
47. You already have a black belt. That gives you permission to sit on your ass.
48. You’d rather feel guilty for a day, than exhausted for an hour.
49. You don’t wanna get calluses.
Share your favorite excuse in the comment section.